Koschei, Theta, and Who?
by MorgR
Summary: Could either Theta Sigma or Koschei had siblings on Gallifrey? What I like to think is that Koschei had a younger sister. My name is Danniella, and this is my time in Torchwood hiding from my brother. This is my first fanfic that I have actually typed and published, but if enough people read and review, I might type and post more! BTW, I love reviews. They make me giggle.
1. Prologue

**A/N Hi! If you read this story, I will make you laugh, cry, giggle, sigh, and fangirl. Do you think that the Doctor or Master had family back on Gallifrey? I do. What would happen if a little girl with a TARDIS escaped the Time Lock? My take on what would happen with that and if she were to join Torchwood. This is my first actually typed and published fanfic, so all I really want is to get feedback!**

Being in Torchwood means that you get the coolest technology ever, but the shittiest hours on Earth and possibly beyond. It also comes with cool info that the public doesn't get to know until Owen gets drunk, and it comes with the worst cleanup jobs for Ianto. Being the youngest person to be employed by Torchwood (so they think) is difficult, especially when you're keeping secrets.

Jack already thinks he knows everything about us, but he really doesn't. Everything he knows about me was manufactured specifically for my life for the next 9 years. I'm not really 17, more like 700. I have a bicardiological system, and a respiratory bypass system, but according to my records, I'm a chimera. And I'm not allergic to pollen and latex, just aspirin.

In other words, I'm a Time Lady living as a human without the help of a Chameleon Arch. I'm hiding from my brother.

Well, seeing as Koschei and Theta are both out there somewhere, one might say I'm hiding from my brother and his friend.

Yup.

Literally the last Time Lady alive.

Was that enough time to register that bit of information?

Judging by the fact that you look like a gaping fish, I'm gonna guess no.

How 'bout now?

You good?

Great.

So... Back to Torchwood.

Yes, I work for Torchwood, and even with all the bragging Jack does about knowing all of us so well, that the full extent of my lies is not even known by me at this point.

Sad, right?

See, I could tell you a sob story: grew up in a family that favored my brother, was ignored by my brother and his best friend, was left behind alone with unloving parents when the boys went to the academy, was ignored when I went to the academy, barely escaped the War with my life, no family left, blah blah blah.

Well, no. I'm not a charity case.

I earned this job. "Fair" and square.

Oh.

You wanna know what I mean by "fair", huh.

I sorta pulled a Clara.

Ya know, the splintering into someone's time stream?

I didn't exactly do the same thing.

See, I have a TARDIS.

But my Chameleon Circuit actually works. It currently looks like a dumpster in front of my building.

What I actually did to get this job was go through and meet Jack at random points in his timeline and pretend to not know him each time.

Needless to say, it worked.

The instant he saw me again, he took me to a cafe and asked me about myself. I had a pretty good idea of who he was already because his face was all over the news already. I trusted him and he ended up offering me a job after I took down a Weevil.

Jack, 0  
Koschei, 0  
Theta, 0  
Me, 1!


	2. Chapter 1

Oh my EFFIN GOD!

18 views? i love you all! But I could really use some reviews.

I might be able to fix that by figuring out how to look at reviews I've received, if any...

onto the story!

by the way, I'm sorry if anyone is kinda OOC, this is how I like to think of Torchwood. The Doctor will show up soon! But only if you all review.

In the Hub, Owen and Gwen can be real immature. They are constantly playing games, making jokes, playing pranks, and just acting younger than I "am". They broke my glasses when a basketball slipped out of Gwen's hands and hit me in the nose. One swollen nose, two black eyes, and a new pair of glasses, I finally got my revenge.

And that, dear reader, is where our story begins.

-/\/\/\/\/\/\-  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Owen's girly scream echoed around the spacious Hub. Smirking, I leaned over to Toshiko.  
"I see Owen found my shockass seat. I love having a better work ethic than him!" Tosh giggled behind her hand but abruptly stopped when Owen glared at her.  
"TOSHIKO! I see you laughing over there!" He began to march over to us with a scowl on his funny little face. I quickly pushed off from Tosh's desk in my spinny chair towards my desk.  
"Freeze!" Well, I guess we solved the mystery of where Jack was. "That means you." Damn. I guess he saw me still trying to inch away from the scene of the crime.  
"Owen! What are you doing?"  
"Why'r you yellin' at me? It was the kid's fault!" Owen pointed angrily at me.  
'True?' Jack's voice echoed in my mind. I had come up with the idea that as a kid, I had always been able to hear people's thoughts, see their auras, and talk to them in my mind. Being from the 51st century, Jack could too thanks to special training.  
'Yeah, sorry. It was my revenge for the whole glasses thing. I put a shockass pillow on his chair. '  
'I thought I had confiscated all of those.'  
'Mwahahaha'  
"Okay! Kid, you stay and finish that report. Owen, you will follow me." Jack clapped once and then turned on his heels down towards the cells.  
"Thanks, kid. Glad to know you still love me." Owen grumbled at me as he walked by. Being the child that I am, I stuck my tongue out at him. I think it's a Time Lord thing, acting so childish. I think I picked it up from the boys. Cuz, really, 700 years old, and I act 10. Also, it might be the reason everyone but Toshiko calls me Kid.  
I have a name, but being the "youngest" means I'm not entitled to one. One word: #youngestatwork.

Yup.

Life's tough.

"Danny? Do you want me to update your software now, or after you finish your report?" Tosh was the only one considerate enough to ask politely, except for Ianto, but he wouldn't ask about software.  
"Thanks, Tosh. I don't know what I would do without you." I leaned back in my chair and began to survey the room. Ianto was presumably either in the archives or the tourist office, Jack was down in the cells, most likely making Owen clean up all the shit random aliens and the Weevils produce in their time there. This was usually Ianto's job, but after Owen makes someone cry, breaks something, seriously endangers the team, comes to work drunk or high, or doesn't come at all, it becomes his job. Jack doesn't usually take the aliens out of the cell that's being cleaned before Owen has to clean it. And Gwen was... Where was Gwen?

I reached out with my mind to search for the one tinged with black, pink, blue, and red. When I didn't find it anywhere, I turned to Jack.  
'Where's Gwen?'  
'She's... Wow. I don't actually know.'  
'Would anyone else know?'  
'Probably not, but it couldn't hurt to ask.'  
"Tosh? Have you seen Gwen anywhere?" I said out loud.  
"No, why? Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen her all day." The computer genius began to look worried as she continued to type code.  
"Huh. Weird. I just had some questions for her about... Uh... Police work! Yes, police work. I think it's interesting how people who were supposed to have been trained to look for clues can miss the blatantly obvious facts."  
'Nice cover, ' chuckled Jack in my mind.  
'Thanks. I love you, too, Jack.' I psychically rolled my eyes at him. I knew he'd get the message.

I walked up to the tourist office to find Ianto actually pointing a tourist in the right direction! I barked out a laugh, which caused them both to glance at me. I quickly ducked down onto my hands and knees, blushing. Wow. This turned awkward, quickly.  
"Danny? Is that you?" Wait. That wasn't Ianto talking. Crap.  
I slowly peeked up over the counter. Now I was intrigued.  
I reached eye level with the top of the counter and steeled myself to see the stranger who knows my name.  
"It is you! We've been looking for you for 400 years! Where have you been?" I quickly dropped back down behind the counter. He's here? How did he find me?

Jack: 0  
Theta: 0  
Me: 1  
Koschei:

1

That's all for now! When I get at least 5 reviews, I'll post the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 2

So, as previously stated, I'm sorry for the amount of time it took for me to publish this. I've been typing it on my iPad, and for some reason, it thin stat the ais a sp CE ad that eisg. Ah thathere are no sauces n the senece type. Thgpas wosentencgs I've typed argbithout gig ack ofxthemisakeb. Oh ad. Is s. And sp CEOs d tin is pretty b d.

Translation: it thinks that a is a space and that e is g. And that are no spaces in the sentence I type. The past sentences I've typed are without going back and fixing the mistakes. Oh, and i is s. And s is d. This is pretty bad.

You have no idea how long it took to type this.

_Previously:  
Jack: 0  
Theta: 0  
Me: 1  
Koschei:_

_1_

"Aren't you going to introduce me, Danny boy?" Jack was casually leaning against the doorway to to Hub. In my shock, I hasn't registered it opening.  
"No need. I already know who you are. We've met." Koschei looked embarrassed, happy, angry and terrified at the same time. Weird combination.  
"Do I? I think I'd remember someone as good looking as you, " flirted Jack. Ianto flushed red.  
"Jack, this is my brother. Uh, Kyle. He's exaggerating when he says 400 years," I chuckled nervously while attempting to make contact with "Kyle" telepathically. I know he could feel me trying to make contact by the little winces he kept giving when I got too close to breaching his carefully constructed mental barriers.

Mwahahaha. Evil child has struck again.

Wait... Did I do it? Is that black void the inside of Koschei's head?

IT IS!

Koschy? Can you hear me?

Danniella, you had better have a good reason for lying about who I am. When can we talk?

Koschy, I'm about to take a lunch break. Feed me?

No.

Okay. We won't talk.

No, wait.

Too late!

I'll buy you anything you want for lunch if we go now.

That's a deal that I can accept!

"Jack, I'm going out to lunch with Kyle. Be back soon." I grabbed Koschei's hand and darted out the tourist office dragging him behind me. He was protesting and complaining about his arm being pulled out of the socket.

"What are you complaining about, crybaby? You've had worse from Theta and I." I started to pull harder just to piss him off.

"Slow down! We've got all the time in the universe."

"Uh, we really don't. I have a job, remember? They expect me back at a certain time and they expect me to be able to be back at the hub within minutes of a call. We can't go anywhere but Cardiff. I'm technically on call."

"Sucks pretending to be human, doesn't it? By the way, Kyle? Really? You couldn't think of something cooler?"

"I had already said the k, so I figured why not say something with a k as the first letter. What would you have preferred?"

Koschei smirked.

I knew what was coming.

"The Master. As always. And why didn't Jack recognize me?"

"You regenerated, remember? Plus, I think he blocked those memories. I can't find them anywhere."

"How are you getting away with communicating with him telepathically, by the way. And what's up with the whole no dying thing?"

"Bad Wolf. Didn't you hear about that whole thing?"

"No, what are you talking about?"

"When Theta's loyal companion looked into the heart of his TARDIS?"

He shook his head.

"Destroyed Daleks with a wave of her hand?"

He still shook his head.

"For Rassilon's sake, Koschy, satellite 5!"

"Oh, that was a human? I heard it was... Uh... You know, her."

"No, Koschy, I don't know who you're talking about. Care to explain?"

By this time we had reached a small fish and chips shop not too far from the Hub. Jack, Owen, Tosh, Ianto, and I would order in lunch from there and a pizza place before Gwen tracked us down by Owen ordering pizza under the name Torchwood. We're not allowed to order in food anymore. Oh well.

"So, tell me. How did you get to Earth? I know for a fact that you don't have a TARDIS." I started on the questions as soon as we had ordered and sat in a secluded booth.

"Funny story... Theta got me here. Well, sorta. I maybe, kinda, sorta stole his TARDIS to get here, turned it into a paradox machine, took over the world, captured Theta and his friends, killed a lot of people, was shot by my wife, died in Theta's arms, and secretly regenerated here before time was undone. Theta doesn't know I'm alive." Somehow, I could believe that was true. Koschei had always had a knack for acting and chemicals.

"Wait. You DIED?!"

Crap.

Always in a public place.

Yup.

He found us.

Wait. That's not...

Yeah, it is.

His ninth incarnation.

Jack:0  
Koschei:1  
Me:1

And now...

Theta:1


	4. Chapter 3

Don't worry, everyone. I'm not dead. Just really forgetful.

"What? When exactly did you die again?" A tall guy with a shaved head, big ears and a leather jacket stomped up to our booth dragging a vaguely familiar dyed blonde along with him. I had been keeping tabs on Theta for a while now, and knew this was his ninth body.

"Doctor, who is this? How do you know them?" The blonde looked at us curiously as she asked the question. I frowned.

"Doctor? Really? And who's the chick?" I couldn't believe that my pompous ass of a brother had called himself the Doctor when he had refused to even try the medical program both Koschei and I had been enrolled in. I also couldn't believe he was picking up blondes with that face.

"This is Rose. And yes, Doctor. Do not call me..."

"Theta! Great to see you! How ya been? It's been great, but I've gotta go. Nice seeing you, Danny. Bye!" Koschei tried push past Theta, but Theta grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

"What have you done that you are rushing out so fast? We only just got here! Budge over, Danny. We are gonna join ya for chips!" Theta forcefully pushed me closer to the wall of the booth so that he could push Koschei in next to me before grabbing his girlfriend and sitting in the other side of the booth.

"Uh, Doctor? Who exactly are these people?" Wow, the blonde is a genius.

"I'm Danny. Gosh, how does Theta keep you around? He must be constantly yelling at you to keep up. I want to, and I met you three seconds ago. This is tedious." It was true. I know another Rose, one from the future, technically the same person, but she was totally different. More mature. I'm guessing they just got back from the end of the world or maybe Dickens. Either way, she was new.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Danny. Who's your friend?" Okay, Rose might actually be decent at this point in her timeline. She seemed to actually be polite now and only grow more polite.

Was that really possible after spending so much time with Theta?

"This is Koschei. He's my brother. And don't patronize me. I've been in this body for longer than you've been alive." Rose stared disbelievingly at me. Okay. End of the world it is.

"Alright, do you know what my brothers and I are?" It was time to teach the blonde about the truth.

"Uh, adopted? Cuz you guys don't look anything alike. Missionary parents?"

"Uh, that was very stereotypical of you. And no, we aren't adopted. Only Koschei and I are biological siblings. Theta lost his family many years ago and my family basically forced him to live with us. Theta is as much by brother as Koschei is. Maybe better. But anyways, my brothers and I are what we call (A/N: I'm writing this sentence, and Ten's theme song came on my iPod! Coincidence? Yeah, probably.) Time Lords. Or Ladies, if you're female. We have two hearts, a respiratory bypass system, and several other specific things that distinguish us from humans. Got it so far?"

Rose looked lost. This stuff was pretty simple. If she's confused now, it's going to be hell teaching her about the Time War and Time Lock and everything else.

"You just made that stuff up. I know that the Doctor isn't human, but he doesn't have two hearts and all that other stuff. That is ridiculous."

Great. A nonbeliever. Just what I need today.

"No, it's true. Everything she's said. You can count my heartbeats if you'd like." Ah, Theta's loud, northern accent to the rescue. A serious case of hero worship doesn't hurt either.

"So, you guys are aliens, sitting in a chip shop with me, a human, and eating chips? This is getting ridiculous. The Doctor told me he was the last of his people. If you are one of his people, then how are you alive?" Rose looked genuinely perplexed.

"He didn't know about us. And can't until later, so before you go, I've gotta get into your head, the both of you. I've gotta lock the memories away until you are allowed to remember me and Koschei. There is a specific timeline, and I can't disrupt it. Sorry, you're not gonna remember these fine chips." I was kidding about the chips, they would remember that, but they wouldn't remember Koschei and I.

Rose looked sad. I could tell she was processing the information, but that she wasn't totally grasping the concept of it. Just then, my phone started saying, "Paully wants ta talk now, Paully wants ta talk now..." I groaned. My best friend Paul had put that as his ringtone and text alert so that I would always know who was texting or calling me.

Rose started to giggle.

"What the he-heck? What is going on over there?" Theta turned and glared at me.

"What? It's not my fault Paully thinks he's funny. You met Paul, didn't you? Oh, no, wait. You meet Paul when I was supposed to meet you again. In the future!" I angrily pulled out my phone and slouched down in my seat like the sullen teenager I was supposed to be. I began speed-texting him more than usual, just to piss Theta off.

"Can you not, please? That's really rude." Ha! Mission accomplished! Theta is pissed! But then, the best part, Rose pulled out her phone and started texting too. Theta and Koschei looked at each other and sighed in unison: "Females". It was pretty funny. I hadn't seen them do that in years and I had kinda missed it.

Rose looked up with an odd look on her face.

"Mickey's coming. He asked what we were doing and I said having chips and now he's coming because he knows this is my favorite chip shop. Please don't be rude."

"Rickey the Idiot? I've always wanted to meet him for real! This is too cool!" I knew I was fangirling, but hey, you watch a guy like a stalker for a year and a half and you'll wanna meet him too. My phone started to ring again. 'Weevils, and Daleks, and aliens, oh my! Weevils, and Daleks, and aliens, oh my!' It was my wonderful recording of Owen's voice that I used as the alert that I get whenever I get a text from work.

"Koschy, can you get Rose? I've gotta go, and so do you. That means we've gotta bury the memories now or disrupt a carefully protected timeline. C'mon, hurry!" I quickly pressed my fingers to Theta's temples, grabbed the memories of me, and blocked them. After I kissed his forehead, I stood up quickly and ran out the door, passing by a young black man who I knew was Mickey Smith. I inner-fangirled, and continued on.


End file.
